PolSwitz Crossdressing
by The Char
Summary: No fancy title. It really speaks for itself. Contains crossdressing.


Vash looked around nervously, his fingers anxiously tapping the oak closet. Gradually he reached for the door knob, apprehensively laying his fingertips upon it. He snatched back his hand, turned around, dashed towards the windows, swung them wide open, rifle drawn and let his eyes dart over his territory. Nobody. Wait, a glimpse? Italy, again? His trigger finger tensed. Just a bird. He sighed, lowering his rifle and loudly uttering.

"Nope, nobody around, trespassing into Swiss territory." He cast one last nervous glance around the area, "nobody at all," then promptly slammed the windows closed, locked them and pulled the curtains together with such a loud swish it was a wonder he didn't rip them straight off. He swiftly ran towards the door, checked if it was locked yet again, pulled on the handle and let out a relieved sigh as it merely rattled in his hand. He grinned, stretched and carefully removed the sling to which his rifle was attached. With extreme gentleness and precaution he placed the rifle in its stand, with the rest of his collection, each of which he had lovingly named (this one in particular was called Heidi). He removed two additional guns from their correspondent holsters, some ammo slings and a rather cleverly hidden extra gun.

He relaxed, nobody around and Liechtenstein would be absent for the rest of the day. He removed his white beret, flinging it towards his desk. He paused for a moment, glancing back at the closet and smiled. "In a moment," he mused cheerfully. "Must set the mood first." Swiftly he went over to the old phonograph, cautiously replacing the decoy plate with the one he intended to listen to. Eagerly he pressed the play button and well known sounds soon filled his ears.  
"The hills are alive with the souuund of muuusic..~" He sung along, for a moment he fell silent, swearing to have heard something, he shook his head, _just being paranoid. _"With songs they have sung for a thousands years.~" Yes, today was his day. Nobody around, just him, his rifles, Maria Von Trapp, and... his secret of course. Eagerly he walked over to the closet once again, taking of his uniforms outer shirt and unbuttoning the inner one, casting one last cautious backwards glance, and another last look at the huge padlock he had undone earlier, before putting his hands down firmly on both doorknobs and swinging the doors open energetically.

He jumped backwards, eyes wide, instinctively reaching back to a gun he did not carry. His first instinct was to run his precious guns and unload all he had. After all there was no excuse. Yet, he couldn't take his eyes of. Perhaps it was that his mind could not wrap itself around the main question.

"What the hell are you doing in my closet?" He said, his voice trembling with frustration, confusion and no good idea how to express itself in his current situation without empty a gun at the perpetrator.

Before him was another male, light blonde hair sleekly falling to his shoulders. His eyes were set mischievously and before him, much to Vash's terror, he was holding a traditional Swiss dress, the sort that Heidi would wear whilst running willy-nilly through the Alps.

"I got a totally better question in return." Feliks replied. "Like, what's this doing in your closet?"

For a moment Vash was taken aback, then shook his head. His house, he had control, heck, his firearms were a skip and a hop away, he had control, _and Feliks had his dress._

"No! You, seriously, what the heck are you doing inside my closet?" Vash trembled. "How did you even..?"

"Through like Narnia."

"Narnia?"

"Narnia."

"You really expect me to believe that you came through a magical country of talking lions, magical creatures, witches... You might be able to pull that kind of thing on Arthur but..."  
"Don't forget wardrobes, like, magical wardrobes, Sir Heidi," he said, walking out of the closet, and right past Vash, still holding up the dress looking as if he were inspecting it.

Vash felt like he was losing control now, he did not like losing control. Not in the least, he followed after Feliks. He forgot about the guns for a moment, this was disastrous, if this came out to the other countries... (besides he didn't want to damage that wonderful frilly alpen dress) His reputation would be ruined. Not everything was lost though, Feliks cross dressed.. .right? Or he could always work his way around it. Slowly he extended his hand towards Feliks' shoulder and was consequently startled as he practically made a hundred-eighty degree turn to face him again, holding up the dress at him.

"This is, like, a totally fab dress you have." Feliks mused, moving a bit closer to Vash.

Vash tried to remain calm. _Don't blush, fluster, stutter or do anything that might expose yourself, avert this crisis_. "It... It is not mine." He said, trying to maintain his composure. "It's Liechtenstein's." He coughed into one hand, trying not to look Feliks in the eye, then realizing that might be suspicious, snapped his gaze towards his.

"Really?" Feliks said, clearly amused. "Why then, like, in your closet?"

"She ran out of space."

"There's quite a few dresses in there, like, this one is the nicest but, you know."

"She has quite a few."

"And you totally have all that space."

"A good soldier only needs a couple of changes of uniforms and some casuals."

"Casuals?"

"Yes."

"Totally didn't see a lot of those."

"Don't need a lot."

"I mean, like, at all."

With every exchange of conversation Feliks had stepped a bit closer, causing Vash to subconsciously back up and now finding himself pressing against the closet. His fingers tried to find support on the strong oaken closet, without much success. He his head away from Feliks.

"I also must say..." Feliks continued. "I never knew that Liechtenstein had grown so tall. This seems a couple of sizes bigger than when I saw her walking a couple of weeks ago." Vash started to become a bit a flustered and stayed pressed against the closet, refusing to meet Felik's eyes. He was seeing right through him. He bit his lip.

"To add to that, Liechtenstein seems like such a lady, very conservative, somethings in there... they seem a bit..." He leaned in closer to Vash, whispering into his ear. "Short... very revea.."

Vash turned quickly and pushed Feliks away, snatching the dress from his hands not meeting any protest at all. Feliks merely smiled knowingly. Vash face was slowly gaining a red tint and he quickly averted his eyes. _The sound of music playing in the background is probably not helping my case._ He thought absentmindedly.

"I knew it!~" Feliks cheered with delight. "I totally knew it."

_This was it,_ Vash thought, _It's over. He'll talk to the other countries. My reputation is ruined. _He shivered as he imagined Roderich's face, smirking. That kind of know it all half smile.

"Well, I suppose there is only one thing left to do." Feliks mused, bringing one finger to his lips.

_He's going to tell. Maybe I can bribe him. But the money... no, no, reputation was more important._

"What do you want." He asked hesitantly.

"Oh, but isn't that totally clear?" Feliks replied, his eyes lighting up.

_Blackmail me? Oh please tell me its just that, he won't tell right, but with him, why is he so unpredictable? Not logical, no logical person would be inside my wardrobe. Oh, if this gets out._

"How much?" Vash scraped his throat and discreetly walked closer to Feliks, as if that would ensure this whole encounter would stay in this confined space.

Feliks looked a bit confused, then his eyes flickered with a sign of understanding. "Oh, but I'm like, not talking about that." He grinned, stepping a bit closer. "I'm like talking..." He paused, letting out a slight amused chuckle. "About dressing up." He closed in, giving a very startled Vash a short peck on his forehead. "Together."

((Alright then, uploading a few things to fanfiction. This was my first Hetalia fanfic I ever wrote! Some may remember it from February 2009, when I posted it to the main community.))


End file.
